The "M" Word

Midget.

Just typing that word makes my fingers tremble. I take a deep breath and write through the tears because I know I have to. There is no choice.

This week I faced my first encounter with this word since Mira was born. A colleague used it in a professional setting. This is a person who has known about Mira’s story since day 1 and still thought it was acceptable to use this word, in front of me, in front of others, with no remorse. I went home that night with a fire burning inside me. I held Mira long after she fell asleep in my arms and I made a promise to her that I would not let this go.

My life experiences up until last April did not lead me to a place where I really knew much about this word. It certainly wasn’t a word that was used in my house growing up; however, I can’t say with any certainty that I have never actually used it before.

I have learned a lot of new words this past year, mostly medical ones, but this one is different. This word cuts like a knife, and I want to tell you why.

Midget is derived from the word “midge," meaning a small, blood-sucking insect. If that isn’t disgusting enough, the word traces back to the circus sideshows of the 1800s, when it was used to refer to short-statured performers for public amusement. Freak shows. Imagine for a second your own child being compared to an insect, or a freak show, simply because of one chromosome in her genetic makeup. Simply because God made her small.

This word is just as offensive to people born with dwarfism as the “N” word is for African Americans or as the “R” word is for people with intellectual disabilities. Keep that in mind, the next time it passes through your lips.

I have no doubt that Mira will hear this word in her lifetime. My biggest fear is not that it could happen; it is that when it does, I have not fully prepared her.  As her mother, that is my responsibility, as is my job to educate others head on with knowledge and empowerment.

As it turned out, my colleague didn’t know this was a derogatory word. I assume many of you reading this don’t either.

Now you do.

If this is a word you use, even as part of a joke, even to casually refer to things that are little, please stop. If you find yourself around someone who uses this word, tell them to do the same. Remind them this is hurtful, degrading language and is not acceptable. This is not about political correctness, only simple human decency.

I want you to think about my Mira.  Think about her sweet face and big blue eyes. Think about the journey we have been on and the challenges she will face in her lifetime. Think about how hearing that word would make her feel.

Advocacy can be difficult, uncomfortable, emotional, messy, exhausting and raw. Well, the same can be said for motherhood, and I know I wouldn’t change a second of it for the world.